Category: HoboMojo

My hair drives me nuts

Remember when I did that photo shoot a few weeks ago to get a professional head shot? No? I didn’t tell you about that? Odd. Given that a homeless gentleman lacking clothing in the reproductive area photo bombed a set of the pics, I’m a little surprised it’s not documented here. Originally, I was concerned […]

God has her period

Layla has her quirks — eating undies, leaving the toilet seat up, and chasing anything on wheels (please keep that image in your periphery), but overall she’s the perfect sidekick, always up for anything. I brought her with me to work on the porch of Starbucks because it was 70-degrees. I snapped this photo of […]

Heart Attack Cups

This isn’t a great recipe if you don’t eat meat, but for those of us who are just pretending we don’t eat meat or for those who dismiss high cholesterol as part of a conspiracy theory to scare us into healthy, well-rounded, responsible human beings like global warming or “exercise,” this is a great breakfast-on-the-go […]

Ralphie

My takeaways on being Ralphie for just one hour: They really considered your lady parts in the design of this thing which I very much appreciate. But it’s deceiving. Once you curl into your usual fetal position it pulls at the crotch from the tension at your enclosed footies and we are talking major flossing. […]

Priorities

Tracy can’t look at me without laughing, which is rude because some of us are just trying to survive, Tracy. It was get to a meeting on time or fix this, and punctuality seemed like the more easy responsible choice of the two. Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook Share with Stumblers […]

Hobomom’s law of ego

The intensity of your urge to poop is directly proportional to the number of bathrooms available in public. Those bathrooms publicly available attract every disproportionally attractive male with a force that is directly related to the size of your ego. Empirical evidence shows that the disproportionally attractive males will, in fact, be represented as single […]

En Oh, NO

Tracy wants me to join a dating site. I would rather write about how Nora calls her pinky finger her HINKY finger. Hang on while my uterus contracts for a minute. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. There. The biggest misconception about parenting is that you give birth to a kid and the labor pains stop. No. My uterus is […]