We are all doing our own thing getting ready for the day. Nora’s at the table eating pancakes with syrup and sprinkles. Layla hovers over my feet expectantly as I lace up my tennis shoes. No. 6 is trying to open the front door while balancing a basketful of laundry. Just as he yanks it [...]
You’re going to be sad and cry and I can’t do anything to stop that from happening. But you know what I can do? I can try to make those tears of laughter instead. I’m going through a break up, and I’m actually the Michael Phelps of break ups, so trust me when I tell [...]
Cry. You don’t want to let go. Take a deep breath. Try to sleep it off. Cry in your pillow. Invite friends over. Cry on the phone. Upon friends’ arrival, make a fire. Burn ex-boyfriend’s socks. Laugh! Nope, you’re actually crying. Wine. Drink it! A lot of it because it will make you stop crying! [...]
Ex-boyfriends have been coming out of the woodwork. And they’re being really nice. Suspect. Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook Share with Stumblers Tweet about it Tell a friend
I sought after #1 in Jr. high school because I wanted to be the girlfriend of the popular, broad-shouldered football player who was a year older than me. #2 pursued me in high school persistently not just because I was popular, and he was not, but because I saw past his freakish height and Hawaiian [...]
Snow is floating sideways, stark white against the crippled trees. I took Nora to school wearing clunky boots and a puff coat. You would have laughed at her trying to say “the snow is crunchy” because it came out “trunky.” “The snow is trunky.” I’m in the car now staring at my empty condo wishing [...]
Here we go: 14 ways to get over a breakup, because 10 is a tramp. 1. Immerse yourself in Foo Fighters. If you must – I said IF YOU MUST – I’ll be generous and give you five minutes of Taylor Swift per diem. 2. Identify the ways he did not fulfill you. There [...]
I heaved black tears into my Big Mac in the parking lot of McDonald’s. Swirls of leaves danced on the black pavement taunting me with happiness. People laughed over coffee as they walked to their cars. The train blared across the tracks. I could not stop the day from moving forward. It was over. A [...]